Month: September 2010

  • one.
    We cling to music, to poems, to quotes, to writing, to art, because we desperately want to feel together. We want to know that we are not going crazy and that somewhere else out there, someone is feeling exactly what you are feeling. We love everything that is tied up neatly, easily, and simply but when we can not find that, it scares the hell out of us, to not know the next step, or where things are headed. Being unsure is never part of our plan. But it’s those moments, the ones where you risk it and take a chance regardless of how vulnerable it makes us, that help us remember that life is larger than we’ll ever know.

    two.
    In all honesty, I don’t think people change. At the end of the day, you’re who you are, and probably who you have always been.

    three.
    I see that you’re online, and the butterflies in my stomach from being anxious are still there. You message me and ask me how I am. I put my fingers to the keys and realize that there is nothing left to say. There is nothing for me to say that will change anything. There is nothing I haven’t said to try to change your mind.

    four.
    Have you ever wondered about the things we tell ourselves before we fall asleep? We whisper the words in the dark, telling ourselves that we’re happy, or he’s happy, that people will change their minds. We persuade ourselves that we can live without the people who have left. Each night before we fall asleep, we lie to ourselves in desperate hope that come morning, it will all be true.

    five.
    He didn’t really do anything wrong to me. I mean yes I liked him more than he obviously liked me, but the only thing he is truly guilty of is teasing me. Its the cute texts, the long hugs, the way he makes me feel.  All hes guilty of is making me insanely happy & then taking that away by dating other girls & never wanting to truly be with me. I cant even blame him for it. Its my fault for falling so damn easily.

    six.
    After all that’s said and done, I still think you’re amazing. I still cherish every moment I ever spent with you and every smile you brought to my face. I’ll forever be thankful that someone like you was brought into my life, even if it had to be taken away too soon.

    seven.
    Because let’s face it. No matter how much you tell yourself you’re over someone, your heart knows the truth.

    eight.
    And the harsh reality of life is that you are going to hurt. You’re going to cry over a silly boy – your heart’s going to be broken. But you have to pull yourself together so people don’t see how vulnerable you are because once people see vulnerability, they take advantage of you. And the whole process starts all over again.

    nine.
    She was a girl who lived for the weekends, not so she could go out and get drunk or high, but so she could escape the hierarchy of school life, and just have fun with her friends.

  • one.
    I’m afraid of time… I mean, I’m afraid of not having enough time. Not enough time to understand people, how they really are, or to be understood myself. I’m afraid of the quick judgments or mistakes everybody makes. You can’t fix them without time. I’m afraid of seeing snapshots, not movies.

    two.
    I don’t think having a boyfriend or girlfriend completes you, or is the only thing that can make you happy. Sure, they’ll make you smile till your jaw aches, laugh until you cry, but I’ve always believed that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone else.

    three.
    I’m fine. I mean not that I’m over it, but little by little it’s getting easier to pretend it’s easier, which means easier might be right around the corner.

    four.
    It’s laughing with your friend at a time when you shouldn’t. It’s the sweat in your palms wanting to know someone you see and the pit in your stomach when they actually see you. It’s being touched by hands that aren’t your own. It’s the thrill of an escape that almost wasn’t. It’s the embarrassment you feel, naked for the first time. It’s helping a friend find something they lost. It’s a smile, a joke, a song. It’s what someone does that they like doing. It’s what someone does that they like remembering. It’s the thinking of things you may never do and the doing of things you may never have thought. It’s the road ahead and the road behind. It’s the first step and the last and every one in between, because they all make up the good life.

    five.
    I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore except I know it feels roomy and it’s drenched in sunlight and it’s weightless and I know it’s not cheap. Probably not even real.

    six.
    Because sometimes it’s easier to say, “I hate you,” than “I miss you, I wish we didn’t fight; I wish you would call me sometimes.” Because sometimes, it’s easier to think, screw life, screw work, screw everything, than admit that you’re overwhelmed and feel like you’re drowning. Because sometimes, it’s easier to admit the simple things than say the hard things and realize how much you’ve been struggling and how much you feel as if life has gone out of your control.

    seven.
    I don’t do crowds, I’d like to have company during thunderstorms, I’d like you to fall for me but it would soon turn lousy and wrong, I meant what I said, I don’t want money, I just want to be wonderful.

    eight.
    Change is a funny thing. We’re never quite sure what we’re becoming, or why. Then, one day we look at ourselves and wonder who we are and how we got there.

  • one.
    I hate that moment when you remember something sweet the last     guy said to you, or something he randomly did that made you fall in love. Because then all your head allows you to do is compare that with the new guy. Then what if he doesn’t measure up? What the hell are you supposed to do if the guy before him still has sections of your heart?

    two.
    I am scared of anyone finding out how lonely I am, I have shut everyone out completely.

    three.
    I want a person who comes into my life by accident, and stays on purpose.

    four.
    Look at you, you’re so young and you’re so scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget you have school the next day. When are you going to realized that you can do whatever you want?

    five.
    You have given and taken a lot from me. You gave me a reason to smile, but you took away my ability to love anybody else.

    six.
    I’m a girl. I have feelings. I overreact. I underestimate. I overestimate. I over think everything. I look to deep into everythings meaning. I dream big. My expectations are high. I can tell when I’m being lied but sometimes I wish I didn’t. Yes I get jealous, and I’m always scared I’ll lose you. Thats why when I ask you how you are I really mean it. When I ask you how you’re day was, I genuinely want to know. And when I say I love you, I’m not lying.

    seven.
    No one is afraid of heights, they are afraid of the fall. No one is afraid to play, they are afraid to lose. No one is afraid of the dark, they are afraid of what’s in it. No one is afraid of “i love you”, they are afraid of the response.

    eight.
    If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that is impossible.

    nine.
    We all screw things up, I screw things up. Especially with the people I love. I get needy, I get moody, I get distant, I want to be too close. I get confused; I don’t understand all of it. But I keep pushing because I hope in this thing, the universe, there’s no way I’m the only person out there who wants something this bad. If I want it, someone else out there must too.

    ten.
    I’m the sort of person that’s always dwelling on the destination rather than the journey. Even when I’m in a great situation there’s always this moving thought that it is all going to have to end.

    eleven.
    This is for the girls who don’t always win, who stay up all night listening to music that inspires them to do things next to impossible, the girls that laugh, smile, and cry all on a daily basis, the girls who like, learn and regret, the girls who may never have it easy, the girls who learn the hard way and live to tell about it.

    twelve.
    You always disappoint me. It’s kind of like our own inside joke, except it’s not funny.

    thirteen.
    And that’s what you do when you care about someone. You fight like hell to make sure you keep them. Even if they aren’t yours, you fight just to know you’re alive. Because you know that without them, you’d have no reason to breathe.

    fourteen.
    Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence. And absence to value presence.

    fifteen.
    I thought about life, about how we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with fear of what those words might do.

    sixteen.
    My thoughts tend to sound better in books I didn’t write, and in the songs I didn’t sing. Even then, sometimes there is no piece of literature, no song, no work of art that can really explain the way you feel. There is a double-edge comfort in knowing that no one really knows.

  • one.
    If you want what you’ve never had, you have to do what you’ve never done.

    two.
    God doesn’t give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need.
    To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

    three.
    It’s not about who you’ve been with, it’s about who you end up with. Sometimes, the heart doesn’t know what it wants until it finds what it wants.

    four.
    You taught me many things, like how it feels to miss someone so bad it feels like a part of you is missing.
     I can tell you one thing, now that you have gone I never will forget you. You left your mark.

    five.
    Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.

    six.
    You act like we never had anything. Which is insane, because we had everything. I don’t know how you can ignore the world because thats what we had, the world.

    seven.
    It’s like I’m waiting for something specific, but I’m not sure yet what it is. I want to test out love at first sight, love at first breath, but am I ready yet?

    eight.
    I want you to have your heart broken. To have it hurt so bad you can barely breathe.When you see that person, I want you to feel like you are being pushed off the earth. When you see that person, I want you to have to leave, because being around them, it’s the worst pain. Knowing you love them, but you can’t have them.

    nine.
    You make me smile, and obviously I like that. But knowing my history in choosing boys, you’ll break my heart. And yes, some things are worth risking, chancing. But my heart isn’t one of them.

    ten.
    I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older and you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.

    eleven.
    There’s always that one person. No matter how long it’s been, or how badly they’ve treated you, if they say I love you, you will say it back.

    twelve.
    After all, how many of us have tried to forget something traumatic; only to find it imprinted on our eyelids, and tattooed on our tongues?


  • one.
    We stopped checking for monsters under our beds
    because we realized they were inside us.

    two.
    The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the prince goes off with the wrong princess. Or the spell wears off and two lovers realize they’re better off.

    three.
    I know; we’re complete strangers now. We both pretend like we don’t care, but I can feel the tension as much as you can. I know how to hide my feelings from your piercing stare and no matter what you think, I still miss you.

    four.
    You think you’re not pretty, someone is wishing to be as pretty as you. You want more money, people are in poverty. You want a boyfriend, someone doesn’t even have parents. You’re hungry, a child is starving. You want to go to the mall, someone is looking for anything to wear just to stay warm. You’re chilly, others are frozen. You just want to die, most people are striving to live. So don’t waste your time on things that you think you don’t have, because there is always someone out there who needs what you have.

    five.
    He looked at me and said, “Do you ever feel like you’re working for something you’re never going to get? You shoot-and-miss kind of deal. Like, no matter what, you can’t have it, but that makes you fight for it just a little bit more?” I looked at him, stared at him for a second, and replied, “Everyday.”

    six.
    It is better to get hurt than be numb.

    seven.
    I swear, I am the biggest over-anylizer that you will ever meet. I think so much about the little things that don’t even mean anything. I guess I’m just looking, looking for something that isn’t there.

    eight.
    We all have that boy; he’s the boy we try to pretend we aren’t looking for as we make our way to class. He’s the boy that we lie about and claim to not care about anymore. He’s the boy that gives you the cliche butterflies, complete with the weakness in the knees. He’s the boy we’re thinking about as we read this. I think every single girl has this boy, and every single girl will remember him forever – he’s not the one for us, but he’ll always be somewhere in our hearts.

    nine.
    You may think of me as just another girl in the crowd of many, but I just want you to know that I’m the one girl in that crowd that took a single look at you and fell harder than I ever have fallen in my whole life. Sometimes, I catch myself wondering where you are and how you’re doing. I don’t think I’m ever going to let you go completely.

    ten.
    I never asked for it to be over. Then again, I never asked for it to begin. Thats the way it is with life, some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most beautiful days have their sunsets.

    eleven.
    Nothing can make everything okay after a hard experience, but the simple act of giving a hug can come pretty close.

    twelve.
    Did you ever walk through a room that’s packed with people, and feel so lonely you can hardly take the next step?

    thirteen.
    I miss you. Not enough to want you back, but enough for it to hurt.

    fourteen.
    She’s a disaster. She loses faith in herself every day. Her life is a mess and she doesn’t even care. No one understands her. And people say stuff to put her down and no one even notices that she might be breaking inside. Or they never notice that maybe she needs a hug from someone. Or someone to sit there with her and listen.

    fifteen.
    I don’t want to be just another girl, I want to be different. I want to be the girl that makes you think, challenges you, but loves you at the exact same time. I want to be the girl you can’t get out of your mind, and when you think of me, I want to be the girl that makes all your problems disappear knowing that you don’t have to face them alone.

    sixteen.
    People say you have at least five dreams per night. That’s like 30 billion dreams a year. So at least one of those of yours has to be about me.


  • one.
    I miss the innocence I had before reality raped me

    two.
    Experience is a hard teacher. It gives you the tests first and the lesson comes later.

    three.
    I’ve become a real believer in not defining every single thing. Seems like every time
    you think you’ve figured out what something is, it just becomes something else.

    four.
    You know that feeling? That feelings as if you’re on top of the world?
    The feeling you get after your first date. The feeling you get after you
     laugh with your best friend. The feeling you get when meeting your idol.
    That’s how life should feel. Everyday.

    five.
    I hope you live a life you’re proud of. if you find that you’re not,
    I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

    six.
    So do your heart a favor, turn around and leave. It may not
    be what you want but girl its what you need.


  • one.
    In that moment, I felt my heart break. And I thought, “I can’t live without you. I don’t want to live without you,” and then it slowly crept into my mind that no matter how bad I wanted, or needed you, it wouldn’t matter.

    two.
    Nothing worth having comes easy.

    three.
    I sit here and wonder if you will ever understand just how much of me belongs to you.

    four.
    I guess that’s what happens in the end. You start thinking about the beginning.

    five.
    Sometimes you need a breakdown. One of those yell at everyone, cry until you fall & can`t breathe kind of breakdowns. Then you feel better. & if you don`t at least people will know you`re not okay.

    six.
    And just before my head hits the pillow, I’ll think of you. The words you spoke, the way you looked. The things we laughed about, the silences we shared. And just before my heads caught up in a dream, I’ll think of you. And when I dream, I’ll dream of you, ’cause it’s about you, it’s always about you.

    seven.
    Am I mad at you? That’s your main concern after devastating my whole world? Mad for what? Breaking my heart? Or for all the lies? Maybe for letting me put all my trust in you only to be betrayed? How about the fact you didn’t even have the decency to tell me to my face? Or the way you think it’s crazy that I’m crying over it cause to you breaking up is no big deal. Am I mad at you?… no. More like crushed… did I ever really know you?

    eight.
    Here’s a big fuck you to the calls I waited for. The dates I hoped for, the love I wanted, the tears I cried and the heart you broke. Asshole.

    nine.
    Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long.